Tips for successfully blending two families together

After exiting a North Carolina divorce court, you may decide that you’ve learned from your mistakes and are ready to give love a second try. Of course, just because you’ve moved on from your previous marriage doesn’t mean that you can leave all of it behind. If you have kids with your previous spouse, you’ll need to find a way to blend your old life with the one you’re creating with your current partner.

Take your time

It’s possible that your kids will get along with your new spouse and their children, but there will likely be a transition period during which everyone is going to have to learn how to live together. During this period, your focus should be on making sure that your kids feel safe while not alienating your spouse or your stepchildren. It may be worthwhile to engage in individual or family counseling to manage any issues that arise.

Respect boundaries

Your spouse’s children may not see you as an authority figure even if they live in your home. Your spouse may also insist that you refrain from disciplining their children as a condition of getting married. Assuming that the other parent still has custody as part of a divorce settlement, you will need to accept the fact that your new spouse’s former partner will be in your life to some degree.


If a problem arises, don’t hesitate to bring it up to your spouse. It may also be a good idea to have regular conversations with any children living in the house. This can help them take ownership of their environment and work with you to create a space where everyone feels heard and respected.

After a marriage or divorce, you may want to review your estate plan to ensure that it still meets your needs. Don’t forget to update the beneficiaries on any accounts that may still have your former spouse’s name listed.